When "Discipleship" Became a Curse Word

We traded real relationships for dry, fill-in-the-blank workbooks. Here is a way we can fix it.

For the past several decades, it seems to me that the word discipleship has become a word that, once brought up in conversation, evokes a negative response.

We did our best to create alternative words to lessen the negative impact, yet nothing seemed to work. To truly alter the feeling of the word itself, we began to remove it from our vocabulary.

HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED

We spent days, weeks, and months going through boring study guides on how to become a better Christian. Fill in the blanks. Entire conferences and seminars were created from these workbooks.

They weren’t on how to disciple, but how to be a good and faithful disciple. It became a program, not a relationship.

Discipleship was always meant to be a personal experience, not a dry, boring fill-in-the-blank endeavor that leaves a bad taste in our mouth.

It became one of those moments we’ve all experienced. We expect one thing and discover something so foul we have no desire to be involved. It became a curse word. You didn’t bring it up in public or private.

Something has shifted.

The word discipleship is taking on new life. Hope is rising that it can be relational again. An encounter to grow and discover God and purpose.

I find this encouraging as I believe that discipleship is vital to the body of Christ. But over several decades of seeing discipleship as a curse, not a blessing, we’ve lost the art of discipling.

When I first traveled to Nicaragua, I discovered that families’ farmlands had grown fallow due to a lack of attention, which led to a lack of training, and the small farm, for all intents and purposes, disappeared. After several decades, hundreds of thousands of acres were left fallow throughout the nation. Good land, good people, hard workers without the skill or funds to produce a crop.

Discipleship has come to a place where we have lost the knowledge of discipling. It has become fallow ground. We have little understanding of how to connect with someone, when to connect with them, and then what to offer once we do connect.

WHY NOW?

What is the Father doing on the earth that is heaven-sent? What is his purpose behind opening our hearts and minds to rescuing discipleship from the trash bin?

We have entered what I believe is the front edge of a mighty kingdom storm that will ultimately bring a billion people globally into the kingdom of God. They will meet, encounter, and respond to Jesus.

But then what? Where will they go, and who will they connect with? They will connect with you. They will want face-to-face interaction on what just happened and who is this Jesus.

Before this occurs, you may be the person the Father connects them to on their journey into his presence. Into the kingdom. The divine connection.

HOW WILL WE BE PREPPED?

I have created a simple study guide called The Art of Walking Alongside: A Discipleship Guide for the New Era. It is to help us learn how to disciple others. The introductory steps.

Formulas don’t change lives. Relationships do.

Most of us genuinely want to help others, but we often get stuck in the gap between meeting someone and actually discipling them. We fear that without a 10-step manual or a perfectly polished, superhuman version of ourselves, we have nothing to give. The Art of Walking Alongside is designed to help you close that gap.

In this interactive workbook, I explore what it means to mentor with the “Father’s heart”. Guiding you through a critical paradigm shift: moving away from a transactional “my bus” mentality, which treats people like projects to be managed, toward an “our bus” mindset that prioritizes the relationship over the agenda.

Instead of relying on easy answers, it teaches you how to become a steady, patient presence. Through this guide, you will discover:

• The Relational Shift: How to transition your mindset from managing a project to mentoring a person.

• The Art of Extraction: How to stop giving advice and start asking piercing questions that draw out the wisdom God has already placed inside your mentee.

• The Power of Vulnerability: Why people don’t want a flawless guru, but rather a real guide who is willing to share their own messy journey.

• Challenge Without Shame: How to offer grace-filled accountability by separating a person’s behavior from their core identity.

• Practical Activation: The tools to help mentees break massive visions down into immediate, actionable 48-hour steps.

Designed for both quiet reflection and group dialogue, each of the seven chapters features core teachings, focused objectives, deep-dive discussion questions, and immediate application exercises.

You don’t have to have it all figured out to make a massive impact. You just have to be willing to walk alongside.

Our paid subscribers receive a free PDF.